


Strength, Power, Control and Letting Go

by riotrocker2017



Category: Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9622946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riotrocker2017/pseuds/riotrocker2017
Summary: This takes place after the sneak peek of chapter six and seven of King's Cage, Mare is in the palace without her powers but she is determined to not let this stop her. Basically a spy thriller.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Upfront, I am total Mareven (Mare-ven) fan, for those that are Marecal (Mare-ri-cal) I will try to do both sides justice. I will try to do Mare justice, she is a complex character and I will certainly try to make this fanfic as realistic as possible.
> 
> Disclaimer: We are lucky to have Victoria Aveyard to own the all the character rights and the other Red Queen rights stuff. I would make a mess of it I did.
> 
> I rewrote this chapter, eliminating most of the typos. Also, music has always been essential to me writing anything. So, when I upload each chapter I’ll give a music suggestion for you guys to listen to while you read. For me, when the right song comes on during the right moment in a book, it makes it that more special. Thanks for your support. You have any suggestions don’t be afraid to comment.
> 
> Song Suggestion: Prisoner by the Weekend ft. Lana Del Rey

As the guards closed the door behind her, Mare pretended to go to the bathroom. When she was sure the guards wouldn’t come back, Mare ran out to the balcony of her room, kicking off her shoes in the process. When she opened the doors to the balcony a wave of fresh air blew through her hair. 

The cold air would’ve bothered any silver, but Mare welcomed the cold, though it offered her little comfort. It reminded her of her home before Queenstrial, of her family and Kilorn. But it was also a reminder that she will never know the luxury of that life again. 

She bitterly smiled at the thought.

When has her life ever been a luxury?

After being forced to give the speech she made, Mare couldn't wait to escape from the public’s eye. She told to the entire kingdom, that she was being blackmailed into committing the acts by the Scarlet Guard and declared to all newbloods that the King’s side was best.  She wanted nothing but to freeze to death. She knew that when she spoke the words, the Scarlet Guard would be watching-Cal, Farley, Kilorn would be watching.

Of course, none of them would believe a word that she said, but Mare knew that the rest of the country wouldn’t see that. She had to admit, Maven was a damn good liar.

She wondered what the others thought: Kilorn, Cal, Farley, her family. What did they think when they saw her lie once more to protect them?

She flashed back to him staring at her with his green eyes as she bargained for their lives. Kilorn told her to stop trying to protect him. But how could she? Maven took so much from her, she refused to have them taken away. She told herself she made the right choice.

As Mare made her way to edge of the balcony, she put her hands on the of the thick gilded rail.

As she looked down, she saw nothing was protecting her between the balcony and the two hundred foot drop. 

Carefully, she hopped up onto the balustrade, swinging one leg over the railing, the other following. She gently placed her bare feet on the cold five inches of ledge while firmly holding onto the rail. The cold breeze flowed through the long red dress she was still wearing and then ruffled her already tangled hair.

First, Mare looked out to the rest of the city of Archeon, then slowly lowered her gaze to the ground below her. 

It would be so easy to let go, like she did when she thought she was going to die when she fell into the shield of lightning at Queenstrial. Except this time there would be no shield of lightning to protect her. And even if there was there was no telling if she would get the same result as last time.

When she tried to escape, when she needed her lightning most, it abandoned her. Mare had no idea if she would ever feel its power again.

But no matter how much she wanted to leap from the balcony into the comforting arms of death, she couldn’t compel herself to let go. 

Maven of course would just spin the suicide as an act of guilt or assassination by the Scarlet Guard of something like that. The Scarlet Guard might think it an assassination as well and there would be even more blood. Both sides using her for their own uses. 

But hanging onto the railing brought her a strange comfort: control. Since the death of Kilorn's  master, Mare was finally in control of her fate. 

When her fingers became numb from the cold, she reluctantly swung her legs around to the safety of her balcony. Before going back into the warmth of her room, Mare looked back to the lights of the city, as she did she gave a sad smile to the city lights, knowing she she might never see its magnificence and beauty as it was meant to be. 

After tonight, she would be seen as a victim of the Scarlet Guard, no longer its champion. Maven once again saving her, like he always promised. But why?  
The night brought many questions, but one thing is for sure, if by some miracle she left with her life, she would not leave empty handed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Song Suggestion: Monsters by Ruelle**

 

When Jon first approached Mare, or whether, he let her approach him, it was difficult to not be taken aback by her. He had seen her birth, her upbringing, her entrance at Queenstrial, and —once he told her of Corros Prison—her brothers death. 

Jon knew that Mare hated him but, in a strange way, Mare was like a daughter to him.

He had tried to make himself believe that it wasn’t his fault. It was Ptolemus who had killed Shade, and Mare had chosen to go with Maven. But, in the end, he had let it happen. 

It was infuriating.

_ But it was necessary _ .

Just like it was necessary that Mare’s hatred for him was pure. It hurt him to to make her believe that he was only in it for himself. 

_ But it was necessary. _

He repeated it over in his head like a mantra, constantly trying to convince himself it was true. When Shade died, when Mare gave herself up, and as long as the future held, he would keep up the facade of his loyalty to the crown.

Jon’s visions had peaked the young king’s interests when he told him of the Scarlet Guard's plans to liberate the Dagger Legion. However, once he got around to Mare’s part in the operation, Maven threw his lot in with Jon. If not for the outcome, Jon would have been excited. Maven blindly gave him his trust and sought advice from him regularly. In a way Jon was the king’s unofficial advisor. The power he possessed was addicting, but he remained in check on his plan.

When they brought Mare out from wherever they were holding her, Jon did his best to keep his composure. 

_ It is necessary. _

Now Mare was stuck sitting between him and Evangeline at the king’s feast.

_ Two minutes, thirty-nine seconds. _

Sonya Iral sat across from him. The houses, Iral, Haven, and Laris planned to make it perfectly clear where they stand. If they succeed, which they wouldn’t, the king would be dead and the three High Houses would take control and wait for former Queen Anabel to place her eldest grandson, Tiberius back on the throne. If they failed in the assassination attempt, which they would, then Maven would be weakened. 

Without Laris, Norta has no air force.

Without Iral and Haven, Norta has no spies.

Sonya, though young, was a fighter and when the tree houses began planning, she was the first to sign up.

_ One minute, twenty-seven seconds. _

She and the rest of House Iral had suspected the tales of the late queen Elara and and her son Maven, but there was no clear confirmation until Mare’s near escape. Iral was told that their former head of the House, the Panther (Sonya’s grandmother), was away reaching out to old contacts due to the recent “disturbances” by the Scarlet Guard. 

After Corros Prison, it was too easy to say the Guard was responsible because they were. However, the doubt remained. 

_ Thirteen seconds. _

Mare was looking at Sonya now, probably remembering their previous conversation. Mare flinched when Sonya suddenly catches her staring. Jon took a drink of his wine.

_ Five seconds. _

“Mare, could you do me a small favor?” 

She turns to with a menacing glare.

“Excuse me?” 

The shots ring out first.

 

Mare flinches at the shots, the bullet meant for her scraping her cheek. She knocks into Jon causing him to spill the wine in his hand.

Evangeline Samos is dodging bullets and redirecting, playing her part well. The Samos bunch are a peculiar group. But there was no time. He needed to act quickly.

The sentinels are distracted, they rush to protect the king from more bullets, but even though Jon couldn’t see Maven he knew the king had been struck in the neck. The wound will be healed of course, but it provided enough time for him to flee.

Mare pushed herself off the floor and grabbed a knife from the table and quickly worked to free herself from the manacles Maven keeps well hidden. 

Jon struggled to his feet, limping his way to the door. In the caos, those allied to Maven were focused on battling Houses Iral, Laris, and Haven.  

When he saw Houses’ attempt on the king's life, he chose not to warn him. Maven would have him executed for his possession of this knowledge and doing nothing about it. The boy relied on him more than any of his advisors. But more importantly he trusted him on the subject of Mare-thinking back to their previous conversations. 

Jon managed to make it through the door and with the help of his ability out of the palace. 

It took time, he had to take many detours to avoid being seen, but for him it was simple. His ability allowed him to see when other guards and healers were headed his way, making their way towards the ballroom. 

Jon had looked into many futures as well as Mare’s, he recalled the exiled prince’s now. The greatest part of his ability was that upon seeing their future he could remember their pasts.

Jon first knew he was different when he was five. His first visions were only that of the immediate future. They were small things, like knowing when something would fall or be knocked from a table. Then it was knowing what others would say before they said it. As he grew older, he began to see farther into the future, into other’s future. He found it a miserable existence. At thirteen he would look around to fellow reds around town and then suddenly he saw suffering in a thousand different ways. 

Then he saw Mare. 

It was strange, seeing her mother give mother birth to her. She was a small thing. 

Food was something every red lacked and her mother was no exception. The lack of nutrition Mare was given was obvious from her birth. But the lack of food wasn’t the only factor. When Mare was born, she was smaller than most malnourished newborns he had seen, with a wisp of brown hair on her head, yet to become faded by years of oppression and hunger. 

Of course he wasn’t seeing any of this in real time, they were only visions of things to come. Mare wasn’t the first future birth Jon had seen, but it was a recurring one. 

For months he had seen her birth in his dreams as well as during the day. It then became clear to him that she was important. Maybe even vital to his own future.So he began to look further. 

Jon was only fifteen  when he first saw Mare, it took him two years to see her future to seventeen years, but when he did, couldn’t believe what he saw. 

Mare was like him, born with red blood and an ability she should not have. 

When Jon discovered he was not meant to have his ability, he decided to tell his parents, but as soon as he made the decision, he saw a horrific future that if he told anyone, silver soldiers would to hurt him and his family, so he kept it secret. 

Mare was different and her existence was something that wasn’t going to be hidden. At first he didn’t want to see what would happen to girl he spent the better part of two years trying to perceive. 

He thought it could only lead to an unmarked grave. 

But reluctantly he began to see farther. 

Jon pushed on pressed past the Queenstrial and saw her struggle with two princes, and when saw her engagement to the would be king Maven and further, Jon knew he had to intervene. 

His own conscription was soon and he had already a perceived a way out of it, but now he had direction. When he ran away, first thing he did when he got to safety was see into the future of both princes. Including Prince Tiberius VII.

Right now as Jon made his way through Whitefire, he recalled his memories of the exiled prince’s upbringing. Cal would sneak out of the palace when he could and when he did he used the same exit. This is the exit Jon used now. 

It took him several minutes to get out of the palace, but thanks to Cal inability to stay in Whitefire it was easy. It also so helped all the guards and sentinels were focused the High House's revolt. No one would be missing him and he would be well out of reach before all the necessary interrogations were over. 

At that thought Jon thought back to Mare, her interrogation would go swiftly but not without pain. He did feel a little guilty for leaving her behind, but she would escape in a few months: on the day of Maven’s wedding in fact. 

Jon would see Mare again, although he wasn’t looking forward to her trying kill him, but he would talk her down and convince of his plan. She would be hesitant in trusting him again, but his ability was something she couldn’t ignore. All she needed was time to get there.

It was only necessary.


	3. Chapter 3 Coming Soon!

Hello! my children! It's been a while. I'm sorry for disappointing you guys and not updating as regularly as you all deserve. That's on me, but good news I have more time now that I've graduated.

As for the next chapter, it's coming. It's half way done but its a long one. I have a lot of content I want to get in and an actual plot. I'm not just going with the flow anymore, I have a plan. It's been building up in my mind for weeks now. Honestly I feel like my mind is having a baby and it's beautiful!

For being patient I will give you a sneak peak of Chapter 3:

It centers on the relationship between Mare and Kilorn and even Shade. I've read every book nearly twice and now I'm making notes and using concrete detail. I made notes and highlights for King's Cage and I'm now doing the same for Red Queen and Glass Sword. So everything that I write is based in what's written in the book.

As a reader I felt that Kilorn is often overshadowed as just the best friend and Shade as just the favorite brother. I think they have a lot of potential. Some of what I write might give you a wtf moment but it all serves a purpose for the bigger picture.

Also good news I have ideas for a sequel to this fanfic that will blow your mind!

Stay tuned and Stay Awesome!

Love ya!


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place three days after the end of King’s Cage. I’ve switched to First Person.
> 
> I chose this song because this is where Mare’s mind set is. Her relationship just ended with Cal and she’s heartbroken and almost hollowed out by everything that’s happened so far. She feels a lot of emotions, especially anger and sorrow (as we’ve seen in the books).This song is Mare leaning on Kilorn as a comfort. We know they’re best friends. They’ve been through so much.  She’s emotionally wounded, as we’ve seen, and Kilorn becomes her crutch. The music video kind of sums up the idea as well.

 

**Song Suggestion: Don't Forget About Me by Cloves**

**Mare**

_ -Attend to your own fate, Mare Barrow _

_ -And that is? _

_ -To rise. And rise alone. I see you as you could become, no longer the lightning, but the storm. The storm that will swallow the world entire. _

It’s been months since Jon spoke those cursed words. And even now now they ring true. Cal has chosen the crown (whether he has admitted it or not) and Maven…

We returned from Corvium three days ago. And ever since then, all I could think of were Jon’s words. I hate Jon  for being  right. He’s betrayed me a thousand times over. And I shouldn’t let him inside my head.  _ The storm that will swallow the world entire.  _ Words that bring both comfort and fear to my broken heart.

That’s when I reach for the bottle of Whiskey I stole from Davidson’s office. I’m careful to uncork it quietly as Gisa sleeps peacefully next to me. I envy her ability to sleep with few worries.

_ Look at how far I’ve come,  _ I think. 

Cal has chosen his crown over me. My brothers are still at war, one is dead. A king is dead. Maven is probably still looking for me. And I envy my sister.

I’m right back where I started. 

The only thing that has really changed is that I no longer worry about Kilorn as much as before. He’s found his place as the friend to both Red and Newblood.

If there was ever one person I could truly count on it would be him. I look down at the bottle of whiskey. Giving up on sleep, I get up and sneak out my room to see the only person I can truly really confide in.

 

**Kilorn**

Mare nearly scared the shit out of me when she appeared above my bed. It didn’t help that she woke me up by placing a small but firm hand over my mouth.

“Damn it Mare, a simple ‘wake up’ would have done the trick,” I whisper as I sit up.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” she whispers back.

“It’s fine, what is it?”

“Can we talk?”

I notice the bottle in her hand. “Only if you're sharing.”

She smiles.

 

**Mare**

Although it was unlikely I decided not to chance my brothers catching us drinking alone in Kilorn’s room. I love them but their clueless and they would get the wrong idea. Instead we decided to take a walk across the base.

Once we were a safe distance from the Officer’s Row Kilorn asked, “So where and why the whiskey?”

“Davidson’s office and I think ‘why not’ would be the better question,” I reply.

For this, there is no response. A veil of silence passes over us for a minute. I’m sure he’s noticed that I haven’t been training with Cal since we’ve returned to Corvium. So when the quiet becomes too unbearable I say, “You know I’ve never really asked about your lessons with Ada.”

Kilorn smirks at this. I can tell how  proud he is in learning how to read. He was a fisherman’s apprenticed since he was a seven.. That meant that he never had the chance to attend what passed for school in the Stilts.

“It’s going pretty well, actually. I’m reading whole paragraphs now. It may not be much but considering before…” Then his eyes light up as if just realizing something.

“Come on,” he picks up the pace, taking long strides, I have to almost jog to keep up with him. “I want to show you something.”

Kilorn takes the lead and brings  us to the edge of the forest separating the Airfield from the  barracks and Officer’s Row. The same forest Cal and I stopped by during one of our runs. I push the memory away and pretend the heat on my face is from the humid summer that plagues Piedmont.

I hesitate as he takes a step into the forest but I follow reluctantly. We head farther into the trees then I did with Cal, it’s not until I see Kilorn stop at a particularly large tree that I know what he’s thinking. I look up into the tree notice a board of wood placed between sturdy branches about thirty feet up. Wide enough for about two or three people.

“You rebuilt our old Hideout,” I say. Kilorn begins to climb and I follow after a moment of admiration.

One summer when I was fourteen, after a day of pickpocketing, Kilorn and I found a piece of wood in an alley,  a little wider than a door. We decided to put it in a tree in the forest near the river where Kilorn fished and on most days I could see from that spot. I remember the difficulty we had trying to get it into the tree. Shade saw us carrying it off and followed. With the three of us combined we managed to get it into the tree. After a few days it became our official Hideout.  It was well hidden by the branches and you wouldn’t notice it from the river unless you were looking for it. 

Shade said it would come in handy and we could put any stolen items there for safekeeping. Trammy was conscripted a month before so on the days that  I didn’t go to school-which was often-Shade and I would sometimes spend entire days climbing the trees around it. Kilorn would come by later in the afternoon. He never said it but I knew he wasn’t eager to go home to his lonely house-his father was dead and his mother gone. The Hideout was a literal hideout from his non-existent family. 

I was just getting into thieving at the time and even though my parents didn’t like it, Shade taught how me how to perfect skills. I have always been stubborn and he knew he could never talk me out of it so he embraced it. 

Shade said the forest was a good place to practice my quick footwork in case I needed to make a run for it. Climbing branches perfected my balance and made my hands sure. The leaves and twigs below made my footsteps light and quick. 

He had no idea that those lessons would help me in more than just thieving. Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but the cut of his death feels as painfully fresh as it did the day it happened. 

My eyes begins to water as I realized how much I miss Shade.  

By the time Kilorn and I reached the top of our new Hideout tears are freely flowing. As I swing my legs over the board Kilorn hands me the bottle of Whiskey. 

“I miss him too,” he says as I take a  drink. If I was with anyone but Kilorn right now I might try to hide my tears. But Kilorn loved Shade as much as I did and feels his loss as much as I do. The new Hideout is similar to the original and does bring some comfort but it will never be the same for too many reasons.

I wipe my eyes, “I’m sorry,” I say.

“I’ve seen you at your worst remember,” he shifts closer to swinging his legs over the side next to mine but he doesn’t put an arm on my shoulder like I would expect him to. He respects my feelings for him only extends to friendship but I can tell he’s holding back. He wants us to be more than what we are. In another life, if I had somehow survived conscription, than we might have been.

Despite my better judgement I lean my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, relishing in the comfort it brings. Kilron tenses at my gesture but then relaxes after a moment’s hesitation and settles for a gentle pat and rub of my shoulder before reaching for the bottle of whiskey.

“Thank you,” I say as lookout into the branches. “For everything.”

Kilorn gasps. “Is the great prideful Mare Barrow actually thanking  _ me, _ Kilorn Warren, for something?”

I laugh a little longer than usual, the alcohol kicking in.

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Oh, it's already there,” he says as he lays down onto the board. Then he pulls out a blanket out of a basket  I didn’t know was there and puts in under his head to act as a pillow. He notes my surprise and says, “A few weeks after arriving here is when I rebuilt the Hideout. I figured that once we got you back I could show you. You know, something to look forward to. But I decided to give you a chance to recover before…”

He trails off. 

I take another drink and lay down next to Kilorn. As the world begins to blur Kilorn unfolds the blanket enough to act as a thin pillow for the both of us. I lift my head and shift all my hair to the side.

“Honestly, I think nothing has really changed except you started wearing dresses and became more bossy.” He gets an elbow in the ribs for his trouble.

“And by some miracle your life is more put together than mine. Now in what world did I allow that to happen?”

“No, I’m pretty I was always more put together than you.”

Kilorn receives another jab. “I see we’re back to hitting.”

I roll my eyes and shift to my side to face him, “So, why the blanket?”

“Sometimes I would come up here to clear my head, but a few times I would fall asleep and wake up with a headache that would challenge a bullet wound. I only have the one pillow in my room asking for another would have been obvious. We had plenty blankets so sneaking one away was easier.”

“And I’m sure that wasn’t suspicious carrying a blanket into the middle of the woods.”

“Oh, you wound me” he says in a mocking tone. “Come on Mare. I may not be as good as you but I’m no Gisa.”

I smile, “What was she thinking? Everything about her is graceful except her ability to pickpocket.” Kilorn laughs.

The memory of her broken hand is now  just that: a memory. And I have Sara to thank. Thoughts of Sara bring me to thoughts of Julian, which of course brings thoughts of Cal. And the laughter dies out. 

“I’m sure you’ve heard of my falling out with Cal?” I whisper.

Kilorn sighs, “I didn’t want to bring it up, until you were ready.”

I smirk. I can never really hide anything from him.

So I tell him. I tell him everything.

 

**Kilorn**

We spend hours talking. Mare tells me about her time in Summerton, in Whitefire, in training here in Piedmont, in Corvium and lastly about the the politics surrounding the end of the war. But she doesn’t just talk about what happened. She recalls every thought, every raw emotion she experienced. Through it all I realize why she’s saying this. She wants someone to understand. 

It takes everything in me not to pull her to me and hold her and help her feel whole again. 

So I just listen and I can tell she’s grateful for just that. She needs to get it out. Get  _ all _ of it out. 

Then she talks about Davidson and his offer.

“After we got back from Corvium he asked me to meet him in his office. That’s how I got the whiskey. He apologized for holding back the information of Queen Anabel’s proposition and potential government after the war is over.”

I saiver her last few words,  _ after the war is over. _

“He said that he knows Anabel to thinks him a fool and that she doesn’t intend to honor any form of equality.”

She takes a deep breath. “So he plans to go behind her back. Behind  _ all _ of their backs. He wants to make them believe that the Guard is on board as well as Monfort. We have to tear them apart by letting them be their own downfall.”

_ We seem weak because we want to, _ Shades words from so long ago echo in my head.

All _ of their backs. _ Including Cal. 

“Are you sure?” I ask.

She nods without hesitation.

“But there’s something else. We need to exploit  _ all  _ of their weaknesses. This war can not end with a crown on someone’s head”

But the weakness to two of those crowns include…

This time I do take take her hand, “Mare.”

“I need to do this Kilorn. Not just for Shade or for Clara or for every other Red that’s been wrong. But for me too. I have too much hate in my heart to have room for anything else. I  _ need _ this…”

When I first spoke met Cal, I wanted nothing more than to bring him down and strip him from Mare’s thought’s. Now the only thing I feel is pity. My heart breaks for Mare because she has to rip his throne away from him once more. And it will kill another part of her.

“I need your help, Davidson’s plan is shaky but possible. If we wait to let Maven mess up then this could take years. He’s too smart. And by that time he could even have an heir. But he when it comes to me. So does Cal. If I play it right than this war will be over in matter of months.” 

She takes my face in her hands. Their small and nimble like Gisa’s but quick and careful and capable of stealing anything, including a crown. 

“Help me end this.”

I don’t want to. I’m not even sure what’s she’s asking. But I can see in her eyes how desperate she is to stop the fighting once and for all. It’s like when I would have to go down to the bottom of a dirty river and loosen nets. After a while I got used to the pressure underwater but it was always a relief coming back up for air. That’s what Mare is looking for now. Air. Freedom. Freedom from so many things.

Slowly, hesitantly-ignoring the sickening feeling at the pit of my stomach, but for Mare-I nod.

“What do you need me to do?” I ask.

She gives a faint smile and then answers with a question of her own, “How long can you hold your breath?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank The Swan Duchess on Fanfiction.net for giving me song suggestion. It will be used in a future chapter. If anyone else has one don’t be afraid to review or PM me. Thanks!
> 
> Also a guest reviewed on fanfiction.net that I didn’t give a disclaimer, which I did, if they bothered to read it in the first chapter they would have seen it. But here goes: I don’t own any of the characters and other Red Queen stuff, Victoria Aveyard does.
> 
> Thank you guys, for even bothering to click on this story.  
> Stay tuned and Stay Awesome!  
> Love ya!


	5. Chapter 4

**Decided to give you guys a break and gave you a short one.**

**Song Suggestion: Heart of Darkness by Sam Tinnesz**

**Cal**

_I look toward him. He sucks in his breath and his mother holds her's. Both seem afraid of what father might say next._

_Maven kneels beside Mare,_ how could they do this?

 _Then a strong hand on my shoulder. I shake my head dreading the words that come next, "A boy or not, Maven has killed. Together with this-this snake-he has committed grave crimes against his own. Against_ me _, and against you. Against our throne."_

" _Father-," I protest. "He is your son. There must be another way."_

_But father's face only hardens, "When you wear my crown you will understand."_

No,  _I think to myself._ I can't live without them.

_Elara answers my thoughts with a chilling calmness, "Fortunately, that will never happen."_

_Her words should bring me comfort but something about them only makes my stomach drop._

" _What?" father asks, taken back. Suddenly his body stiffens. I don't understand what's going on. "Elara, what are you doing?"_

_Then father yells, "No!" and he falls to his knees. A moment too late do I realize what's going on. I call to the flames, they flare in my palm but Elara holds a hand in my direction before I make a move._

Not yet,  _she whispers in my head._

_I hear father yell for Arven, a fragment of hope builds in my chest but is quickly extinguished. Arven makes no effort to stop this. For a moment I think Elara has him too. But the way he looks to the queen makes my heart sink._

_A horrible realization sets in, "Julian tried to warn me. I thought he was lying about you, about my mother, about what you did to her."_

_A sickening sound escapes father, "Coriane. Julian knew, Sara knew. You punished her for the truth."_

" _Elara, you have to get Maven out of here," I hear Mare say. I had almost forgotten she was there. A gleam of worry glass over her eyes but not for herself. "Don't worry about me, just keep him safe," she pleads._

_A part of my heart breaks. This whole time she's loved Maven, everything she's done was for him. Every kiss was lie. But then what Elara says brings these thoughts to a standstill._

" _Oh, don't fret, little lightening girl. I don't think about you at all. Though your loyalty to my son is quite inspiring. Isn't Maven?"_

_He responds by whipping his arms from behind his back, the shackles melting from his wrists. Mare catches my eyes and I see something that I don't understand. She then focuses her gaze on my brother._

" _Maven?" He turns to look at her.. Mare, still kneeling, looks up to him. "Maven, help me up."_

_Maven's back is to me so I can't see his face or what he may be thinking. And just when I think he might turn away and walk to his mother's side. To turn his back on all of us. He bends down to take Mare by her elbow and lifts her to her feet. He puts his hand around her shackles and melt the space between her hands so she is not burned._

_Relief spreads across Mare's face she smiles and embraces him. He returns the gesture as his mother sneers at his action._

_Mare then turns to face me. For a moment I think I see a glint of guilt in her eyes but it dissolves as quick as it appears._

" _You never would choose me." It sounds like an realization and a justification. "But Maven always will. Because he is a man of his word. Where as you made me a promise and broke it as you broke my heart. And now no one can save you. Not your grandmother, not your supporters, not your fire. Not even the crown you chose over me."_

_She then walks with Maven to Elara's side as she forces me to take my father's sword and separate his head from his shoulders. And the last part me dies into a flicker of nothing._

I wake with a start. And quickly move to wipe the tears from my face. Only after do I realize there is no need to. Mare is no longer by my side and I no longer need to attempt to hide the horrors of my nightmares.

It's been a week since Corvium and a week since Mare and I have spoken. She makes every effort to avoid me, there is nothing left to say. On the way back to Piedmont she even elected to take a different plane. Now that Corvium is secure the Scarlet Guard is moving to take Delphi which shouldn't be difficult because Nanabel's House, Lerolan, is the governing seat.

Part of me is still angry with her for making her alliance without consulting me. But what choice do I have? Mare could have chosen me too. This is what I tell myself everyday.

Why must I lose everyone I love?

I look out the narrow window of my room. It's early morning the sun will be up in over an hour. Unable to sleep anymore I get up and decide to go for a run. I still continue running without Mare and I run the same path but it doesn't feel the same.

I make my way to Officer's Row where Mare's house is. The house is dark, no one is up yet. And just before I move on, the front door opens. I quickly manoeuvre behind another house before anyone can spot me.

It's dark enough for me hide in the shadows, but the street lamps allow me to see Mare emerge from the front door. I hold my breath hoping she doesn't see me. The last thing I need is for her think I'm stalking her. As she walks further down the walkway she looks back and I see Kilorn appear from the dark house. With him he carries a backpack. He then turns around and carefully closes the door without a sound.

But why would they be so careful as to not be heard or seen? Why are they up so early before sunrise? Unless they're keeping something from the rest of the family. Not even Farley is with them.

Together they walk down the street and around the corner without a word. Before I lose my nerve, I follow. I'm careful keep my heat from giving me way.

They make their way down to the training area. They make their way into the building, but I hesitate to follow. I often make every effort to avoid this particular building. But eventually my curiosity wins out.

I wait for a solid minute before I approach the door. I take a deep breath before I move to quietly open the door. As I step across the threshold, taking a look back outside to the slowly lightening of the night, I allow the door to close and let the darkness of the building swallow me whole.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter should be interesting. *winks*  
> If anyone has a song suggestion one don’t be afraid to comment. Thanks!  
> I don't own any of the characters and other Red Queen stuff, Victoria Aveyard does.  
> Thank you guys, for even bothering to click on this story.  
> Stay tuned and Stay Awesome!  
> Love ya!


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